ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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