If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize