please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
