I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
