I accidentally had phone sex last night
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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