Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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