So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I have feelings that need drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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