U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
