this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I look excited, but its just a facade.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
