I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
