Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
