As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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