Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
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