just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!