Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

Just fell off a train. Bad.

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(916): View more from California

come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.

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(214): View more from Texas

I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.

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21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(616): View more from Michigan

be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra

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(360): View more from Washington

Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.

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(425): View more from Washington

I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms

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(313): View more from Michigan

Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.

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