guess who came home with a hottie last night
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
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Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
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I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You just missed an honest to god bukkake