Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(708): View more from Illinois

I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...

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(205): View more from Alabama

we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf

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(601): View more from Mississippi

she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket

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(205): View more from Alabama

btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever

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(647): View more from Ontario

i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.

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(716): View more from New York

Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.

(716): View more from New York

The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers

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(303): View more from Colorado

Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.

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