What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
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I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
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Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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