For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
