the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
