Don't make out with my wife yet
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
