I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
