It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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