is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize