I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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