Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
