I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
