Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
