I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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