You smell like stripper and shame
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
your like the ambassador to my penis.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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