He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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