he puts the penis in happiness.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
