I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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