i think i have two assholes
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
