Pants 0. Shit 1.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Even the bartender felt bad for me
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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