You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
