so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
