Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
