She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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