just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize