I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
