Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
