I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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