youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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