Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
