I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
