I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
