STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
