Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I am one with the molecules
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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