I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
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