Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
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