Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
