She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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