Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
