i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
