I have demons in me.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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