It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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