It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
