Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
