I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
