My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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